I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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