And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize