I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
