why didn't you poke me back
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
