he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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