i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
