why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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