Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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