I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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