I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
