cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
