I must be too annoying 4 u.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
