What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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