If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
