we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
