yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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