I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
