Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
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I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
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Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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