I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
