Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
