she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
