He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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