So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
