I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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