I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize