you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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