Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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