Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
