I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
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They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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