My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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