Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
