After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
