doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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