went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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