You're my little dorito
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
