just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
