Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
