yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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