I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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