Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.

(1-615): View more from Tennessee

Anal.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again

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(847): View more from Illinois

i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.

(1-847): View more from Illinois

that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.

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(818): View more from California

i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...

(805): View more from California

i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis

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