So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
