mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
