Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
