She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
