I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
