Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
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She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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