we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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