Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
