billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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