bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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