Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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