I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She even gives head with a lisp.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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