How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
