Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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