I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
