I just made out with a guy for $7.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
my shit smells like andre
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
