I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
