Will you blow on my dice?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Randomize
