I bet he comes in French.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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